Under Color of Law by Aime Austin

Author:Aime Austin [Austin, Aime]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-940811-08-6
Publisher: Penner Publishing

Nineteen

Casey

December 21, 2003

“Where’s he taking you tonight?” Jason asked. I was standing in my neighbors’ apartment while they gave my outfit the once-over. I hated the scrutiny, but knew that my view of myself was sometimes dysmorphic. Either I went for clothes that were too tight, imagining the thin self I used to inhabit. Or they were tents, as I tried to hide what my body had become. Not even a ringmaster looked good in a tent.

“I think you’ve lost weight,” Greg said.

I breathed a little easier. An adjustable belt could be deceptive, but I was feeling pretty good these last few weeks. More like myself.

“Who can eat? I’m getting cases referred to me right and left. And not the crappy paying juvenile cases. Divorce and custody cases in domestic relations.”

“No more juvenile?” Jason sounded hopeful. For a long moment, my staunchly Democratic self wallowed in guilt over my lack of dedication to serving the poor. Had I made it sound so dreadful? Who was I kidding? It was dreadful. A nearly two-week absence and I was already downright nostalgic.

“Not done there, yet. But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.” It was shining brightly, beckoning like an end of life white light.

“What’s making it click now?”

“The Brody family,” I said matter-of-factly. With Greg and Jason there was no reason to pretend that I’d suddenly become one of the cool kids. “Maybe Tom feels guilty for what happened all those years ago. Maybe they do as well. Don’t know. But I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. No siree.”

“So that’s a new dress?”

“Got the money, and the bigger ones wouldn’t fit.” I took a twirl in my pointy shoes, thankful I wouldn’t have to walk too far. “What do you think?” With the boyfriend diet, I could now seriously consider myself a size smaller.

“A wrap dress works for you.”

What he didn’t say is that the peplum built into this dress hid a world of flaws. He was at least diplomatic that way.

“Have you guys done it yet?”

“Jason!” I squealed like a teenager.

“What? It’s a legitimate question.” He threw up his hands in mock outrage.

A heat cloud of embarrassment surrounded my head. “Not since the fall of nineteen ninety-two.”

“What’s his problem?” Greg asked, his voice sober.

“God, I hope you’ve gotten laid since then,” Jason interjected.

What was his problem, indeed? I mean, I know I was seven years older, and I wasn’t as cute as I’d probably been in my twenties. I wanted to both kiss and kick Greg; kiss him for looking out for me, kick him for making me feel like inadequacy central.

“We’re feeling each other out,” I improvised.

“Not literally, though,” Greg said.

My land line rang, the bells filtering under the doors. He was here.

“Gotta go,” I said, very happy to be leaving. They were making me think about things I’d shuttled aside for the past three months.

“Think about what you’re doing,” Jason advised.

Riding in Tom’s car through the darkened and deserted

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